Crimes Against Class

Crime Against Class #10:  Too matchy

Now I'm going to reiterate Stacy London's advice here - Pieces have to go together.  They don't have to match.  So, this means that if you are wearing an orange blouse, then your bag, shoes, skirt and eye shadow don't all need to be orange too.  It ends up looking too much like a theme, or in this case with orange, looks like you escaped from prison.
 
Instead, try this: pick one colourful peice.  Then pair it with another piece of clothing or accessorize with something in the same colour but different tone (ex. if the skirt is a light purple, accessorize with a dark purple bag).  OR in cases like a conservative office environment, pair it with a neutral.

Crime Against Class #9: Tying sweatshirts around your waist

No matter how cool it was to do this in high school, this trend is now long dead and gone.  However, it seems like some people didn't get the memo. 

I understand that sometimes you need both hands to be fully functional while carrying groceries or picking up your dog's do-do, so as an alternative, throw it over your shoulders for a more preppy look.


That's much better!  Thanks Olivia Palermo!

Crime Against Class #: 8: Cheap looking nails 

Nail art has really taken off in the last couple of years, which I love.  However, there are certain trends that just don't fly with being taken seriously.  Think Snooki and Lady Gaga.  These include fake nails, acrylics, and crazy nail art.

Can someone open this can of soda up for me??  I just had my nails done

I type on a computer all day. These would drive me nuts!

Careful! You can poke your eye out with those things!

I'm trying to go for the wicked witch look today.

Crime Against Classy #7:  A bad hair-dye job

I'm of asian decent so my biggest beef is with asian girls who decide to completely ruin their naturally beautiful black locks and dye them bleach blonde.  Not only does it look like someone slapped a bad wig on them, their hair also now looks and feels like straw from all the chemical damage they have subjected it to.  It's just not a good look.  This crime could also easily apply to any other girl who has decided to dye her hair a colour that does not naturally occur on a human head. 

Don't get me wrong. I love Katy Perry and Nikki Minaj and their ability to take risks and dye their locks every 2 weeks to match the colours of their mood rings. BUT they're in the entertainment business and get paid millions of dollars to be THAT crazy.  If your goal is to be taken seriously at work or school, hot pink locks aren't going to accomplish that. 

Crime Against Class #6:  Panty house and open toed shoes

Hey I live in Canada, so I know how cold the winter can get. However, if you opt to wear panty house, PLEASE wear closed toed shoes.  No matter how much you think those strappy stilettos will go perfectly with your dress, seeing that seam line line and what looks like webbing over your toes completely ruins it all.  

Crime Against Class #5:  Fake designer handbags

I understand the pang of jealously one can get when you see someone walk by with a Chanel or Fendi bag.  I also know how hard it is to fork over 3 months rent just for a peice of leather to carry your wallet, keys and tampons in.  But buying a fake Fendi just so you can look rich isn't a classy move. Even though other people may not know that it's a fake, you will. It's much better to own a REAL reasonably priced, say, Coach purse, than it is to carry a fake Chanel.   A real bag will also be more special to you as you've saved up all that hard earned dough to buy it.  Purchasing a fake is also against the law and completely unethical.  Someone has stolen another person's design and is profiting from it - don't support them.

Crime Against Class #4: Flip flops

Now I'm all for comfortable footwear too (trust me - I have bunions the size of ping pong balls), but unless you're at the beach or pool, flip flops are not appropriate shoe attire.  However people seem to think it's appropriate to wear these at work or to nice restaurants. Do you really think people want to be looking at your toes while they're eating lunch?  

Plus they make your heels all dirty and dry, which is also very unappealing to look at.

Crime Against Class #3: Crocs

I think the universe was trying to punish the fashion world when these started being marketed to adults.  If you are between the ages of 5 and 75, Crocs just aren't a good look.  There's nothing classy or stylish about wearing blocks of foam on your feet.  There are many footwear options out there that are both cute and comfortable. 



This could also fit into crime #1.



Crime Against Class #2:  Too much makeup

As a general rule, you want people looking at you and not your make up. 
Make up is meant to enhance your features, not to completely hide them or change the way you look. The "more is less" rule definitely applies here.

Crime Against Class #1: The "Free Show"

Ladies, please put down your coffee or glass of wine and pay attention to this.  This is the mother of all unclassy crimes and requires to be broken down into 2 parts so that it gets the proper amount of attention.

Part #1 - Peek-a-boo undergarments

            

It's totally awkward to be walking down the street behind someone and being able to see their thong through their dress.  It's also hard not to be distracted by the hot pink bra underneath someone's white blouse when you're talking to them. COME ON people.  This is why camisoles and slips were invented.

Also, please at LEAST wear a nude bra if you choose to wear a light coloured shirt and forego a camisole.  Note I did NOT say white.  

Also as an important note, camisoles are meant to be worn UNDERNEATH another shirt and NOT as a standalone piece. 

Part #2: Too much skin

This crime includes the following:

- wearing clothes that are WAY too tight
- showing the "girls" off too much 
- Skirts so short your cookie may make an appearance
- butt cheeks falling out of your shorts







There is a certain level of excess skin showing that only your husband/boyfriend/partner should should be privy to. 

Comprehensive research from scientists at Harvard, Yale, Northeastern, and the University of Maryland shows we have a clear tendency to assign certain characteristics to others based on how much (or how little) they leave to the imagination.  It's a long research paper in "science talk", but basically the study showed that participants instantly assumed people who showed lots of skin were reckless and not as competent as their more modestly dressed counterparts. 

You might be a really nice girl on the inside but in a society that routinely judges a book by its cover and where your co-workers, classmates and people on the street may never get to know the real you, putting out a "I work at a strip club" vibe isn't sending the right message.

For those who feel the need to "flaunt it cuz they got it", please resist that urge.  It screams begging for attention.  And trust me, you're not attracting the good kind of attention.  It's uncomfortable for everyone around you to look at (except for the old pervy men). So, please JUST. DON'T. DO. IT.

Oh Miley.  What happened to you?

No Snooki. Just, no.

You're crossing the line and you know it.  

There you have it.  10 fashion crimes you should never commit.  Keep it classy, people.